Hmm - Part One

So today was my last shift with the day team. I've had 5 goodbyes now and it's starting to twinge a tiny bit. But so far so good.

After doing my last work program I realised that, more often than not, the people you will remember the most will not remember you as... well not 'not as fondly', but... not as 'treasured' if that makes sense.

It's more common in a place like Disney, where new and interesting people come and go all the time. Today I was helping new trainees and thinking 'hey aren't I still the new girl? Oh I guess not.'

People hug you and say they'll always remember you and how missed you will be, and some of them will mean it. But for the most part, when and if you ever return, you know deep down that things will never be the way they were again.

Others like you will have come and gone, new faces will have replaced old.
You had to travel the world and change your whole life for a few months, all they did was have a new person among them for a while. It's understandably not as memorable for them as for you.

This is why after a while I didn't want to return to Woodloch in Pennsylvania after so much time, at least not to work anyway.
I used to have visions of me appearing in the doorway the following winter and calling out a quip or other that made them laugh on my last visit, and they'd all drop everything and say 'Vicki!!! It's great to see you again! Welcome back!'

It was a nice dream.

But I know it wouldn't be like that. For a start, over half the people I worked with have moved on to different things, leaving the past behind them.

That includes me, and it will again.

Sure, there'll be a couple that will indeed always remember me, and I guess it's those few who remember that make those who forget not hurt as much.
And sure after a while either they or I or both will slow and then stop contacting each other, but hey it happens. Just like the people that have been a part of my life at home that I haven't spoken to in... years for some... I guess we had what we had at the time for a reason, and perhaps that reason is past now.

*shrug* I'm just thinking aloud now, I guess the conclusion I'm reaching is simply that this is the way the world turns. And as we get older and wiser and hurt and healed time and time again, I guess we come to accept that a little easier as each day goes by.